OK, so Michael and I have been talking a lot about having kids. Nothing super serious, but just that we want them and we gush over every baby we see. The problem is, I think that both my sister and I are abnormally scared of having children. I don't know why, but it scares me to death. I am curious what the fears were for you mothers out there. I continue to tell myself that I want to own our own home, be out of debt, and be able to be a stay at home mom (and many other things)... before I have a child. But I am also told if I put these restrictions on us then we will NEVER have a child. But my question is- if we don't put these restrictions on us and we have a child- wont we be incredibly unprepared? But at the same time I cant imagine that everyone that is a mother had their life together 100% when they became pregnant (does anyone ever have their life together 100%?) Please help! Here are some of my main fears (I realize some of them sound a little crazy):
* Being so sick during the pregnancy that I'll have to quit my job unexpectedly
* Living on one salary- that is commission
* Not being able to be a stay at home mom and having to leave a little tiny baby with someone
* Loosing health insurance with the one job that we have
* Pain of child birth (I cry when I get a shot!)
* Being sick in general
* Finances
* the weight gain- and not being able to lose it
6 comments:
there are so many concerns about becoming parents and being 100% responsible for a little life. i think that all of your fears especially the ones about being sick, gaining weight, insurance and the pain associated with childbirth will all seem silly to you once you hold your sweet little child in your arms. honestly, if you are feeling like it is time i would pray about it and you will get your answers. no one is ever prepared but it is so worth it.
Very good answer! See... Mommy wisdom at it's finest!
I agree with April...and you know, new things, and changes are always scary because it's new and unknown territory but afterwards you realize that there really wasn't much to be scared about.
When we have children, we're doing what the Lord wants us to do...he is a HUGE advocate of families. And so he will bless you. You've got to have faith that things will work out and they will...maybe not as you planned(as in our case all the time :)), but they will. I had Elisabeth when both scott and I were going to BYU and working part time. I was throwing up every day for months but I still went to class and still worked...when I wasn't in class or working I slept, but it worked out. Because we had such a limited income we were able to get on medicaid for both Charlies and elisbeth's births and they pay for everything which was a blessing. Then b/c we had children it made getting grants for school REALLY easy so b/c we had kids we no longer needed to pay for school. Once I had Elisabeth I quit my part time job...how did we pay for rent, food etc. and not get into debt with only scott's part time income? I have no clue accept that I know that the Lord was with us blessing us. AFter school Scott got his number one choice in jobs and was accepted into his number one school of choice for masters degree and got all of that paid for as well. There were just lots of things like that that happened and still do happen, where it might not be exactly what you want or how you imagined things would turn out, but the Lord knows best and he will lead and guide you if you have faith and do what he would have you do.
See I think where my problem is I stress that things wont work out... but you are absolutley right. They will, just maybe not how you planned, like you said. Boy you ladies are smart :)
Jay and I waited 5 years before we had josh , because we just kept saying we were not ready ! Then the moment Josh was born, I realized that this is what its all about. I love being a Mother!!
Betsy,
All I can say it that it all works out. The pain of childbirth is greatly reduced with amazing medical miracles. Pete was so apprehensive about us having kids. I wanted to get pregnant from day one but he wanted to wait until he felt ready. I can honestly say that day would have never come.
There are a lot of options out there to work from home. I actually work 3 jobs, two are out of the house and one is cleaning once a week. Pete is able to go into work late so he can watch Cora while I do it. We have definitely been blessed in that aspect.
And the cost of having a baby can be so minimal. There are so many things that you don't have to buy. All a baby needs is warm jammies and diapers. There's always way to get things for cheap.
It sounds so cliche but really you can't even imagine how little everything else matters when you have an awesome little baby to hang out with.
Post a Comment